I really want to say that my opinion has shifted for the better on at least one facet of this game. I want to come here and have a good quarter of this post say that “while x, y, z, alpha, and beta all still suck, I enjoy q somewhat more now.” I wish I could point out that subjecting myself to the string of code on this DVD has bettered me in some way, other than wishing I was playing the cooking chicken stage of Parappa the Rappa in place of this moderately warm heap of bovine anus void.

But I cannot.

I’ve been able to roll up a nice 6-1 record with my team, on the standard difficulty level. I figured it was time for me to up my level, that maybe I’m getting so bored with the game cause it’s not a challenge. (Even though I threw 4 interceptions against the in game against the Bears and STILL won the game, more on luck and Willis McGhee’s counter play running).

So I upped my difficulty level, and got stomped. Like, everything I thought I knew, I didn’t. Now, I’ll grant that a higher difficulty level should be hard, and God help me, I’m going to continue on playing at this to better myself, but it is a real, noticeable, ego-stripping, emasculating step to take.

The other issue I’ve had with this game lately is that most times I’m blindly mashing buttons. This was a major beef with the game I had, there seemed to be very little skill, just pressing the button at the right time. Let me say that a game, I was pissed at this game because I thought a skill ONLY REVOLVED AROUND PRESSING BUTTONS AT THE RIGHT TIME.

Think about that for a second. I just started playing Kingdom Hearts II, and a major skill of that video game is PRESSING THE ‘X’ BUTTON AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. So Madden 07, I forgive you for the hatred of making me master a video game skill you have to master for every video game; for making an issue when there was none really.

The Good: I don’t hate it as much because I discovered hypocrisy on my part.

The Bad: Given the choice, I’d rather play City of Heroes, Kingdom Hearts II, or Pong still.

Opinion Change: Still miss Techmo Bowl…..8 bit is still better than DVD and authentic playbooks

I started this project in the hopes that even if all I got out of the whole thirty days in Azeroth experiment was my mock-on going, then that was all right. However, here after just over thirty days, I’ve found that quite frankly, I’ve grown accustomed to my race. I don’t readily play the game as often as I feel I should, but the time I’ve spent was actually… enjoyable. To a certain extent.

Let’s talk about the second Interrogation, before we get into any conclusions. I got in as Ceilai a few minutes early, and decided that the best way to go about giving the PvP a fair shot would be to try it again. This time, with a weaker character who, it should be noted, I hadn’t actually played in weeks. I gave myself every deliberate disadvantage, and even with that… I still did far better than I had as the Tauren Shaman. I actually killed other players. I had killing blows registered, and more than just two or three. I think on that first run I had eight or nine, and the second one I had five or six. A lot of it, of course, was due to my team– they were in fact the way we won the first match– but I was playing my support role the best way I knew how, and actually felt like I was contributing to the team. In some small way, I liked that. Granted, the fact that Warsong Gulch resets completely negated the feeling of having accomplished something good within the overall framewerk of the game, but meh. I’ll take my ego-boosts where I can get them. Aside from that, and a couple more quests/grind sessions, nothing terribly interesting to report. Still nothing in the way of communication.

Let’s go back to the beginning, then, and take a look at what I had to say about the game. My biggest problems with the game were the oversaturation of players (most of whom were jerks), the requirement of PvP play, and the fact that the game was totally inaccessible to casual players. One point at a time, then:

A large enough player base actually reduces the immersion an MMO player has in the world, as through login queues, zone oversaturation, and GM non-responsiveness, he or she is made to feel increasingly insignificant. To some extent, I didn’t have this exact problem during my playthrough. I ran into the login queue problem exactly twice throughout my entire run, and the zones never felt like they were far too crowded (though they certainly had their spots where a lot of people were gathered). As I never needed to call a GM, there wasn’t that problem either. However, the player base is too large. It takes away from the immersion when you’re handing over the one-of-its-kind vial of moonwell water to the druid, only to have to wait in line for the other nine people to do the same. Ditto for named-monster kills (Lady Sathrah, to be specific– I killed her, and then not an hour later she was still there). It’s also worth noting that the player base was completely hostile to new players. I had the exact same experience when I started up Ultima Online (didn’t even last a week there); nobody was willing to answer a question, or even tell me where to go to get the right information. I understand the argument of “you have a manual” but not everyone actually reads the manual. I read what I needed to know about combat, about the topics I’d heard about, and then I went in. The online help is pathetic at best and impossible to recall if you need it.

Forcing players into a PvP combat situation is akin to forcing players to be griefed; conversely, restricting players from PvP forces them into mindless grinding without any purpose. World of Warcraft does not provide enough PvE variety or non-combat PvP competition. Boy, was I wrong about this. There is literally a metric assload of stuff to do in the game. Granted, a lot of it revolves around going out and killing things, but it is possible to derive satisfaction out of the game in a non-combat situation. While some players go out and hunt things, others buy and sell services as enchanters and crafters. A good deal of money can be made just through harvesting items like herbs or minerals. While I can’t say anything for roleplaying– as I didn’t actually join an RP server– I’m sure a lot of that happens and it can’t be all bad. I was dead wrong about a lack of PvE variety. However, PvP is always combat. And, fortunately, completely optional. So, I likely won’t ever set foot in any PvP setting ever again. EVAR.

The “rest” system does nothing to contribute to casual players and in fact serves as an artificial hindrance to the “hardcore” crowd, who will overcome this through tedious grinding. This is dead-on, but for a different reason. I played very infrequently. I imagine that if I played more often, I’d have noticed a difference. However, as it stands, I didn’t see anything that made the rest system any different than normal play. Because I was always in rested mode. After the initial period, I let my characters sit for days on end and accumulated so much rest that I never saw the end of the rest bar on Sunday evening. And this was after gaining a full two levels. TWO LEVELS and I still had enough rest to take me into a third. The rest system is completely ineffectual. It’s nice if you have a lot of alternate characters and rotate between them– and the randomness of the servers being up or available pretty much necessitates that– but ultimately it confers no end-user difference.

As for observations that I picked up along the way. I’d like to address this to all but maybe three people in the Anvilmar “community”: YOU ALL SUCK. The multiplayer experience I had on the server– a “normal” server– did absolutely nothing to convince me that the game was worth paying $15 a month for, let alone playing at all. Being hostile to new players, challenging them to duels they can’t hope to win (and calling them chicken when they decline, in broadcast, and saying you’ll make a GM call if they continue to decline), and not even correcting them when they ask stupid questions will not endear me to you folks. So to all of you who were hoping I’d have something good to say about you players, I don’t. My initial assumption that you are all diseased asshats still stands with only a handful of exceptions.

All that said, I’m still going to play.

That’s right, I have decided to stay on in Azeroth. This trip wasn’t just an experiment, it was a learning experience. I figured out what to do and what not to do. And armed with this knowledge, I’m going to go back and try again. The reason behind it is very simple: because sometimes it takes a little work before you get to a great amount of fun.

When I first started City of Heroes, it was at the urging of my good friend (and fellow Unbeliever) PsychoPez. I played for two months before I let the subscription lapse; mostly because I didn’t play it terribly often, but primarily because I just wasn’t having much fun. I had picked two really bad archetypes for beginners to play, Blaster and Controller; Blasters had no defense back then and Controllers had no offense– plus, there was debt below Level 10 as well, so both got into a permadebt situation PDQ. It would be over a year before I reinstalled and started up again during a period of unemployment, because it was cheaper than buying a new game at that point; also, Mike had mentioned that some of the recent changes had made the game much more forgiving. He helped me out with a new character, and I slowly made connections within the game and within the community. It was tough at first, and occasionally I had periods where I said, “Forget this, I’m not progressing”. But the best solution actually was to play a different character. To take on the same content, from a while back, from a different angle. And occasionally with help that I didn’t have before.

WoW is, I think, the same way. I have made a lot of mistakes, and I’ve not exactly made things easier on myself through some of my choices. However, when I’m actually playing the game– even just grinding– it’s fun. Is it fun for everyone who plays it? Of course not. I know of at least one person who will call me retarded for continuing to play. Making connections will help out the experience immensely, I think. And I already have a standing invitation to a guild composed of the former members of the DDR Erie crew. I think I’ll just go right ahead and make up that character tonight, in fact. A Night Elf Hunter, of course.

The Good: The game itself is fun, for folks with a certain predisposition to the genre (I’m not an “MMO Hater” as some folks may have described me– which actually means I have to go and find someone who truly is one and give them this Auto Assault trial disk I’ve been hanging on to since May). The world is very well developed, and the story is interesting (where it’s not ripped straight from Tolkien/Warhammer). Technically speaking, it’s damn pretty and damn economical on the resources.
The Bad: The playerbase on the normal servers are all asses. Online help is just plain useless. The user interface, by default, has a LOT of flaws. The minimap is also useless and a lack of navigational aids really makes moving between areas you know too difficult– Blizzard could learn a LOT from Guild Wars. Bits of the story have been lifted from other sources, but if you’re not a fanboy you likely won’t care (and despite Pez’s attempts, I still know very little about the Warhammer universe, so what’s been lifted here doesn’t affect me).
Final Opinion: Slightly good. But ever-so-slightly. If you’ve never been fond of the MMO model then World of Warcraft won’t win you over– it may even drive you away completely. But if you’re willing to do a little bit of work for a potential lot of reward– all of it virtual, except for the social interaction– it could be a great game. Assuming, of course, you know people who already play. Let’s call this one “cautious optimism.”

One of my fears has come true. Now that the regular season of the NFL has started, playing the game has lost some of the little appeal it once had. I’m involved in two fantasy leagues, and my Sundays are now handed over to the almighty god of football; the pigskin my new religious icon. It’s true that before the season started, there was sort of a “Well, it’s the only game in town, so I might as well” feeling toward the game.

I still can only play at most one half of a game at a time, but the reasons for stopping are starting to increase. I got mad while playing the Chicago Bears that I had to quit. They intercepted the only two passes I’ve thrown. Part of me wants to just reset the game; on the plus side, I understand that urge to do so now.

Having the Bears play so well on defense actually mirrors last year’s real life Bear’s team. It’s kinda eerie seeing things like this. The stats in game really match up well to their real world counterpart. Defensive teams are good on defense. Fast wide outs are really faster than the slower ones. On this point, it does suck you into the simulation, and does it well.

The Good: I guess having as accurate a simulation as possible where you don’t have to actually stand up and put on pads is a good thing…

The Bad: I still see very little reason why a gamer would want to play this. This is not like other video games, it is very much a you like it or hate it game…

Opinion Change: …and I still hate it.

….yeah, for now, I got nothin’. This is a learning experience for all of us, and since we’re just starting out, we’re having one of those hiccups where two of us are between projects and our only current project is going so very slowly. I can assure you, however, we’re not finished yet, as I’ve already set in motion what’s going to be our next project. Here’s a hint: This will make Jack Thompson a very very happy man for about fifteen seconds. Then he’ll actually read it and become enraged– whoops, I forgot, he won’t read it because he thinks I can’t read*. He’ll probably just be enraged, now that I think about it. So actually this wasn’t much of a hint.

So I can promise you folks that I’ll be starting my new project “soon”– let’s say a week from Monday. It’s gonna be a glorious new start, because, my brothers and sisters, we’re heading back to the old ‘hood.

See you when we see you.

* — If this was South Park there would be a big flashing subtitle there that read “YES, HE REALLY THINKS THAT”.

I figured I was being overly harsh on Superstar Mode; that I needed to jump a year or two ahead for my player to take their rightful place in the team. So I made a new superstar, a running back, and I simulated an entire year. The New England Patriots drafted me, and my entire first year, I didn’t get to play on the field at all. No problem, Corey Dillon’s starting to age, in a year or so I should be able to replace him.

So the second season starts, and I start up a training camp day. In this mode, training camp and practice sessions are more important than the actual game. It is where you get to fight for position, to prove yourself to the coach. So I hit the start event button, and the preseason mode loads. And loads. And loads. And Control-Alt-Delete tells me five minutes later the program’s not responding.

No big deal, random crash. Kill the process, start it up again. Same thing. And those three moments of zen like Madden bliss have been enriched into raw, energy filled hatred worse than any Iranian uranium will ever be. I start up a new random superstar, and I can go into the first year training camp no problem, but any second or beyond year training camp, and the game just crashes.

Which is just great, as I was liking (GASP!!! I KNOW, SHOCKING!!) superstar mode. I could idly play it when I didn’t have the time, simulate a week or a season and move on, and had all sorts of little mini-things aside from the game that I thought I would hate, but proved to be nice distractions. I think my initial impressions with Superstar mode were so poor because I was on the defensive side of the ball. On offense, at a skill position (QB, RB, WR), Superstar mode, while it isn’t good, we’ll just say it sucks much much less.

One more comment about Superstar mode that leads into the other half of this tough acting rant. I had a QB superstar (First year, of course, fscking bug…) that is not calling any snaps, but does get on the field to hold the ball for the place kicker on extra points and field goals. Except it appears that there is something I am supposed to do to place the ball on the ground. Everytime I’ve done this, the kicker misses his kick, and horribly as well. If there was a practice mode to tell me how I am supposed to plant the ball, or an in game menu to explain how this is done, all would be good. But Madden, while driving around in his fricking bus, seems to have forgotten how to tell the players of his bug riddled game HOW TO ACTUALLY PLAY THE STUPID THING.

Yes, I’m getting used to how to control all the various permutations of actions in the game. The practice mini games do really help in this. But the in game help for controls is poor. There is a drop down menu that covers the basics for rushing, passing, and blocking, but there have been multiple times where I needed a specific command, and I just could not find it. Sure, the drop down lists of doom in games like Unreal Tournement or City of Heroes was hard to sort through, but I know the command I so desired to use was somewhere within, and all I had to do was spend at most five minutes looking through. In Madden, even though they tried to ‘help’ the user out by classifying controls, things got cut, and when your only two actions in a game are holding a ball for your kicker and you fail at that cause you have no idea how to order it, in pre-season games where the entire intent of your play time IS TO PROVE TO YOUR MAKE BELIEVE COACHES THAT YOU’RE A GOOD ENOUGH PLAYER TO PLAY, which making your kicker mis kicks is what you DON’T want to do, things get annoying.

Man, that was a run on sentance. Sorry, Madden are do be causing the baddest grammers.

The Good: I want to play Superstar mode….

The Bad: …but a bug THAT CRASHES THE GAME prevents me from it. In game help (IE. help while actually playing the game) is almost as bad.

Opinion: How much longer do I have to put up with this steaming pile of computer compiler dung? Three more weeks or I find those mp3s I talked about. I’d rather have every hamster dance clone installed on my computer rather than this stupid, stupid program. I’m not sure I can even call it a game at this point. Hell, calling it a program assumes some level of logic was intended with its creation. It seems the programers just threw random 0s and 1s into a heap and called it a day. I had thought about trying to review its on-line play, which is an option in this waste of hard drive space, but I’m afraid my firewall would correctly not only catagorize this game as a virus, but would force my machine to become sentient, electro-telekineticly animate my mouse, wrap itself around my neck and strangle the precious life giving oxygen out of my body to make up for being exposed to the files that compose Madden ‘07. Honestly, at this point, I’m almost of the opinion that Madden ‘07 is a terrorist plot to poison the youth of America. And now that I’ve said terrorist and uranium in the same blog whose URL is The-Unbelievers.com, everyone welcome the NSA, CIA, and FBI to our video game experiment!

That said, I think he hit the nail on the head with this: “I can now admit that it does have some appeal as a social game.” I’ve been playing DDR quasi-seriously for about three years now; with a significant amount of that time being spent as part of a regional group, the now-disbanded DDR Erie. The group was comprised of late high-school to early/mid college-age people, all reasonably skilled at the game. When I joined up, I’d only had about maybe two or three months of off-and-on exposure to the game (read: one day on, four days off while my legs were in excruciating pain). When the group dissolved last year, I was at a six-to-seven foot play level (standard difficulty), and I’ve recently jumped up to low eight-foot songs on heavy difficulty. There’s a solid skill progression involved, and with a group of like-minded folks who don’t mind you looking relatively silly, it’s an excellent way to pass time and get exercise.

That brings me to Grey’s remark about losing weight. He dropped all of about two pounds over thirty days– hardly a variation that he or I could consider proof that he lost any weight at all. But, the problem may not be traced to DDR specifically– I’d have to say it was his diet as well. DDR is not that dissimilar from a step-aerobics regimen, as quite frankly you’re still doing basically the same motion with your legs, just at varying tempos and directions. As a result it can help a player burn through a significant portion of his or her activity requirements for a day. However, it’s not enough. Most of the “lost xx pounds” stories on sites like Get Up Move (which is a thinly-veiled advertisement for RedOctane, who makes the DDR clone In The Groove) neglect to mention or downplay the significance of dietary changes in the weight loss. As a personal anecdote, let’s look at my case. As I said, I’ve played semi-regularly for about three years now. During the first two years my diet did not change, and my weight actually increased. Since January of this year, I changed my eating habits and maintained a similar regimen of activity (including DDR); by May I had lost forty pounds. The strangest part was that I actually played DDR less often between January and May due to life interference than I had during the previous two years. So while the DDR-weight-loss stories may not be all hype, they’re still mostly hype.

Ultimately, it is all about a particular mindset that seems to be a bit odd, even among the hardcore gamers. The driving force which keeps arrow-stompers, well, stomping arrows, is the drive to get higher scores and to get better. The coveted AAA (no mistakes at all, all arrows stepped on with “Perfect” or “Marvelous” accuracy and all helds held) is a hallmark of a player’s ability. It means as much to a non-gamer as a .700 lifetime batting average does to someone who doesn’t follow baseball, or a 90% lifetime pass-completion rate does to someone who doesn’t follow American football. Within the circle, it’s a legend. Outside of the circle, it’s meaningless, and admittedly “pathetic awesome”, as had been said. But the competition within the circle drives players to these scores.

I wish, actually, that Grey had had the opportunity to go to a DDR tournament during the trial. I’ve participated in a few, and it’s really at these gatherings that you get a sense of the strength of the community. At one of these events, someone made note that a DDR tournament has a much different atmosphere than, say, a Tekken tournament. To cite his example, the players at the Tekken event were loud, belligerent, even downright mean to each other; shouting obscenities, pushing, even a fistfight at one point. This was a cut-throat match, and there wasn’t even any more than about $50 on the line. This was in contrast to the DDR tournament that we were in the midst of; players cheered each other on, clapped after every match (no matter how good or bad the players were– which was a lucky thing for me at the time), and there was an atmosphere of excellent sportsmanship. Heck, nobody even used any profanity. The top prize was a $300 metal dance controller.

I can’t say with any certainty that the experience is universal. In fact, it may have been isolated to the Pittsburgh region; I haven’t had that much contact with the Cleveland DDR scene, but most of it has been kind of aloof and somewhat antagonistic. Still, it’s what I’ve experienced, and based on other accounts I’ve heard from the US and the world over, I’m not alone in feeling this sense of friendly rivalry.

So, ultimately, while I am a little sad to know that the dance-game craze couldn’t attract one more convert, I am glad to know that Grey gave it a fair shot. Though in all honesty, there was a distinct lack of crotch-grabbing in that video, so his commitment to feeling the groove (to say nothing of his goods) is somewhat suspect at best. Meh, no matter. He has tasted the sweet pain that is Paranoia Survivor; he’ll be back.

Some people got very offended by my initial remarks about the genre, and how ridiculous I thought the whole concept was. I think there is a danger sometimes that when you socialise with others who share the same interests you lose sight of how the outside world views your activities. Most people have their heads screwed on and realise that what they’re doing is a bit strange, but carry on because they find it fun. But it’s very important not to forget the fact that these games are considered to be very peculiar, and the vast majority of people I’ve mentioned this project to find the idea of playing at home on your own just, well, freakish. We all have our own little peculiarities and activities that aren’t quite normal, but most of us draw a line somewhere, beyond which lies what we consider too weird and dare not venture. For me dancing around trying to step on buttons in time with some silly tune was past that line. Perhaps the line between that and Punchmania or the roguelikes I enjoy is very thin, but it was still my line.

Has that changed? Do I now have more respect for this genre and the people that play it? Would I consider playing it again myself? Well… Let me get onto that in a bit… (yes, I like teasing) One surprising thing was finding that quite a few other people I know play this game regularly, or have previously mastered some aspect of DDR in the past. No one in real life, I admit, but quite a lot of my online friends. Of course I knew they were all quite nerdy people anyway, but I didn’t realise just how many actually enjoyed dance games. The genre’s popularity is even more prolific than I first thought.

Getting into the game at first had its difficulties. If anyone decides to try out dance games based on reading this then I think I’d recommend you first try out one of the many Playstation games available before moving on to Stepmania, and making use of their tutorials. When playing don’t be afraid to spread out into more difficult songs. Keep adventuring beyond what you’re comfortable with. If you have trouble then practise on a song you feel you can nearly reach, and if you’re determined enough you will make it. Video game and TV/anime themes may be fun to dance to, but with a lack of clear rhythm they aren’t always good teachers. You’re best relying on pop or dance songs that you know well to help push you up to higher difficulties, which will then make you better at all the songs you have. Improving in just one song will make you better at the whole game. A good dance mat may help – preferably one of the foam filled ones – but with some polystyrene and sticky back plastic you can do a Blue Peter job on a cheap mat that will suffice.

When I bought the dance mat a month ago I also purchased a set of scales for £3 so I could compare my start and end weights. I can’t imagine these cheap scales are hugely accurate, but I’m sure they’re good enough for a relative comparison. I should stress that I’m not very healthy. My diet mostly consists of large quantities of chocolate and microwave meals. I may be of average size and healthy weight, but I’m not athletic in the slightest and never have been. At the start I weighed in at 75 kilos (165 lbs). I’ve been playing for 4 weeks, constantly increasing the difficulty at which I play, often doing 2 hour long sessions, and during that time my diet has been as bad as ever. At the end of it all my weight has shifted to 74 kilos – that’s a 2 lb difference. Not much, but admittedly still a slight loss. Do I feel any healthier? Well, kind of I guess. I certainly have a lot more stamina for the game than I did at the start, but that may just be due to getting used to playing. Every time I’ve increased in difficulty I’ve found it more physically exhausting, but each time I’ve quickly gotten used to it. My trousers feel maybe a slight amount slacker, but overall I look the same.

There can be no doubt that DDR can aid slightly as part of a regular exercise and diet program. However, I think anyone interested in seriously losing weight is better off with the likes of step aerobics that have been more scientifically verified to be of major benefit. I don’t fully believe all the reports of people losing major amounts of weight purely through DDR. If you make a conscious decision to put effort into losing weight then that’s going to have an impact on many areas of your life, such as diet and physical activity, not just one game you play frequently. I would personally like to shift a little weight, but I have neither the willpower nor the motivation to make the necessary lifestyle changes. I don’t think DDR could ever make any significant impact on its own.

As silly and stupid as the genre seemed to me a month ago, I can now admit that it does have some appeal as a social game. Playing with friends is bound to be fun, especially if they’re on the same level of skill and you can compete directly with them. Would I do it myself? Probably yes, in fact. Not anywhere near as regularly as I’ve been playing in the last month, but I’d certainly enjoy playing this game with friends every now and then, especially if I can beat them. However, this is something I have unfortunately not actually experienced, and I think perhaps that if I were to then I would eventually get bored of it. I could never go so far as to compete in DDR team competitions and such – that would just be ludicrous. Still, playing with friends is something I’d be happy to give a shot if the opportunity ever arises.

Would I play it on my own? I’ve obviously been doing it a lot this last month. Being able to advance to such high difficulties in such a short time says something about the game itself, and how easy it can be to pick up and master. I have had a lot of satisfaction and joy through playing the game, whenever I’ve achieved something I thought would be impossible. But to be honest it’s been similar to the sort of satisfaction I get when at work, setting a new record for how many assessments I can complete in a month, or managing to deal with some important case or query well. It’s not the usual joy I get purely from playing a game I like. I have not once actually looked forward to playing – normally I’ve put it off as much as possible. I enjoy doing well, and I enjoy getting to dance to music I like, but the basic game itself just isn’t enjoyable enough to keep me playing. And so I’m hanging up my dancing shoes for now. My dance mat has been packed away, and unless someone else wants to play with me I don’t anticipate bringing it out again.

And now for a little treat. Want to know how good I’ve gotten? Well have a look. One of my housemates got a new phone yesterday, so this was a good chance to test out its video functions. As you can see the framerate and video quality are very poor, but it still looks fairly impressive I think. If you listen you can hear the thumps of when my foot hits the mat – a lot of these steps can’t be seen at the low frame rate, but you can hear clearly how fast I’m going. Overall I didn’t do so well in that performance - my last dance, in fact. Got a C but I should have done better – unfortunately the camera was very distracting. Still, this is the first time I’ve had a chance to see my own footwork, and I was pretty amazed myself.

There have been highs and lows to my month of reviewing, but in the end I think I’ve come out somewhere in the middle. This game may not be for me, but I don’t think as badly of the real DDRers any more. Yeah it’s stupid, yeah it looks ridiculous, but I can see how they could get some enjoyment out of it. I still think it’s pretty sad and weird to want to do it on your own. I mean why would anyone get much enjoyment from this? What is so attractive about the game that would make it fun to play on your own on a regular basis? But I suppose there are worse ways to spend your time, and others could easily say the same things about the games I enjoy.

It’s been an interesting experience getting to grips with the game, and I certainly don’t regret the time I’ve spent on it. I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading these posts. I’ll now hand over to John to defend the game he loves. Perhaps he can explain the joy behind solo play, which has still mostly eluded me…

The attempts at other DDR songs were mixed. Some 6-foots I did well in, and I even passed a couple of 7s. Overall I wasn’t pleased though. One problem is that I don’t know the tunes very well, so I can’t follow the rhythm as easily. A much bigger issue though is speeds. I’ve wrapped myself in cotton wool to date, pretty much always playing songs around 120 bpm, maybe sometimes a little faster. I don’t mind if a song has some far faster sections within them as long as it goes with the tune well, but an entirely fast or slow song is usually just unplayable for me. So experiencing these very fast DDR songs was pretty bewildering, and I had a lot of trouble trying to keep up. The Afronova songs in particular just spanked my ass red-raw – I was utterly useless at them.

To try to master the highest songs must take a very long time. To learn these by playing on the arcade machines would simply make you very broke. Surely there are better things to spend money on? Like a nice big tub of ice cream? You wouldn’t work yourself into a stupid sweat from that now, would you? I mean, with the sort of money that must be spent on these machines maybe some of the extreme players could, I dunno, maybe save up enough to buy themselves a life? But as much as I deride DDR players I do admit most of them are fairly decent people, and it was nice to find out that some of them do have enough of a sense of humour to be able to pick fun of themselves, as evidenced by the Cornell DDR club videos for 2004 and 2005. There’s an old saying: “Blessed is he who can laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be amused.” It’s a pity that for a minority of people this is just too hard.

On the subject of things being too hard, I have noticed one interesting thing about playing Stepmania – it has definitely reduced my libido. It seems that regular exercise really does help keep the little pecker down. It hasn’t been this inactive since I was 12! Definitely an advantage when single…

Moving and grooving on (as I’m sure you’d like to), I gave up on those more difficult DDR songs I’d been attempting. Trying to learn to do better at very high speeds seemed fairly futile, especially with songs I didn’t know. I returned back to my old favourites, the songs I knew and loved. And I was in for a bit of a shock. I was still having trouble with some 6-foots, so hadn’t tried much in the way of 7-foot yet. That which I had tried usually turned out poorly. But an attempt at 7-foot Liberi Fatali (the Final Fantasy 8 intro theme) instantly got me a B. I was still having trouble getting Bs in some 6-foots, so this was a great pleasure to me.

So next I decided to return to the song that had first helped me get up the ladder in Stepmania: Billie Jean. The 4-foot I was already very comfortable with, and so now it was time to get heavy. 8-foot Billie Jean was my next target, and I quickly found it wasn’t a complete fantasy. Yes, it was fast, it was hard, and it was filled with half-steps – often with strings of 9 or more in a row, including half-steps in between jumps and freezes. But it was not impossible, oh no. Knowing the beat well helped me immensely, and on my second go I pulled off a C. For the second time in my four weeks of playing this game I grinned and shouted “yes!” Not coincidentally it was on the same song as the last time. But I wasn’t going to stop at a C, now was I? A few more attempts got me exhausted pretty quickly, but I was still only getting Cs. Finally after about my 5th go I managed to keep my life bar at full by the end of the song, and I got a rating I could be happy with – B.

I had a certain glow of satisfaction after this – hard to describe, but it felt good. I’d achieved something I didn’t think would be possible in the time I have. It was through hard work and determination, and in the end that struggle paid off. It left me very sweaty though – extremely damned sweaty. Heard the expression bathed in sweat before? Well, for once I know how it feels – it seemed perspiration was oozing from every inch of skin on my body. Except my feet, strangely… But getting a B in a 8-foot difficulty song was most definitely worth needing an extra shower and change of clothes. It’s a proud achievement for me, and a great way to end this 30 day project.

For end it must, and that end is most certainly nigh. My final tango with Stepmania is due tomorrow, and my ultimate judgement of the game must come then.

Positives: I still keep surprising myself with my ability to improve. Just when I think I’ve hit a solid barrier and I can’t progress any more I find some area I can improve in and my skill at the whole game advances even further.
Negatives: For once I don’t feel I have anything really negative to report here. Actually, one problem is that the mat is getting increasingly battered. If I wanted to keep playing then I’d have no choice but to buy a new pad to be able to dance more properly. Still, for a free program it’s only fair that you would have to buy a decent interface yourself, and the foam-filled pads aren’t all that expensive.
Overall so far: Playing the arcade machines has made me respect the ability to play at home more. Previously I thought it was pretty sad and pathetic to play on your own at home, and that the whole DDR genre was probably far better when played with friends. I do still think that now, but I at least see how there are a lot of major advantages to playing at home as opposed to the expense and troubles of using an arcade machine.

But I’ve just been lazy. Still not in the habit of updating a site with words and stuff.

So, yeah, three games into my season on Madden ‘07. My Bills are 2-1, losing the first game that was close in the first half but pulled away from me in the second half. I won the next game against the Dolphins, who are arch-rivals with the Bills. This last game I wiped the floor against the Jets, beating them 40-17.

But it’s taken the whole week for me to play three games. I can, at most, play two quarters of football in one setting. And it’s not like I’m playing long periods either. It’s the five minutes per period that’s the standard for Madden games. I’m just finding this very, well, boring. It’s boring when I’m winning, it’s boring when I’m losing. Boring in the morning, boring in the evening, boring at dinner time. I’m going to try and bump the difficulty from rookie, the lowest, to pro, or what ever the next easiest is.

Maybe part of it is that I’m starting to get the controls. My rushing game has definitely improved, I understand having to wait for the blockers to do their jobs and for the lanes to open up. I am reading the defense well, and calling hot routes. Hot routes are sort of audible that change the route a receiver is running. When I call a pass play, and break the huddle and get to the line, if I see a defender somewhere, I can change the route to exploit the weakness. A week ago I would have been totally lost at what to do. Now, I am master of buttons in a game!

If I’m not bringing the funny, it’s well, despite my new found mad skillz, it’s the game is dull. I pass, I run. I throw a few completions, I throw an interception. Defense comes out on the field, and it’s just the opposite of offense. I pick plays at random, end up not controlling a player cause if I do, the other team will get my precious into Mordor. Or something…

…and I know if I had bought the PS2 version, I’d enjoy all this bantha poodoo somewhat more. The PC version lacks Madden Points. These are little bonuses you get for scoring a touchdown, making an interception, rushing for x yards, and other little in game milestones. Save up 100 Madden Points, spend it on a deck of cards that’s pretty much worthless. But I think this would solve a lot of my boredom issues with the game. It’s the same reason I enjoyed the Tony Hawk skate games. Sure you just skate around the same eight stages, but there’s different special jumps and grinds and things to do. You’re not playing to complete the game of skating, you’re playing to collect all the hidden actions in the meta game. The sad thing is, this might be the sort of crap that’s in Superstar Mode, and I may, if the increased difficulty of Franchise Mode doesn’t help, have to submit myself to that.

There is one bright spot, and it’s in a location I thought I wouldn’t like. The soundtrack. No, I don’t like a lot of the R&B-slash-hip hop-slash-rap music, but dear god, if these files are mp3s on my system somewhere, I’ll be putting them into my iPod. When iGetOne. When iHaveEnoughMoney. No, not the R&B songs, but Madden’s dealt with NFL Films to get a lot of the classic background music the NFL Films have produced. It’s odd, when one of these cue up, it’s like I’m watching a highlight reel or something, yet I’m playing the game myself. It goes back to that make it real/make it enjoyable ratio I’m sure I mentioned sometime before. I hear this music, and I think back to the best the game has to offer. The tape of the Bills “Greatest Comeback In NFL History” has songs from this soundtrack. The heroes I grew up watching, waiting in line for two hours to meet, cheered and jeered every Sunday, those memories flash through my head while I try to pretend I’m on the other side of that fan exchange. These classic tunes, if nothing else, make the price of the game money well spent.

Short, blunt, and to the point. I’m like Fox News, only smarter. And full of truthyness.

Positives: DUN dada DUN dada DUN dadatdada DUN dada DUN dada DUN dadatdada…NFL Films soundtrack.

Negative: In the rain or in the snow, pass the ball and run it for’d. All I ever want is for this to get interesting…

Opinion Change: Game itself much decreased. Though I’ll be poking through the files to see if I can grab me a few NFL Films mp3s, it’s not like I didn’t pay for them….

When: Sunday, September 3rd, at 4PM Eastern Daylight Time (1PM server time) for two hours
Where: World of Warcraft, Anvilmar server, Darnassus
Who: Night Elf Hunter Ceilai
Why: If I’m a n00b, why don’t you folks show me how the game PvP is supposed to be played?

I’ve decided to give the so-called WoW community on Anvilmar one more chance to redeem itself. I know there are people playing the game, and I know there are people on the damn server. So I’m scheduling this out a little ways to make sure that the folks who think they can sway me from my current disgust know about this. This is your last chance to defend the game in the eyes of The Unbelievers, so make it a good one.

Again, the ground rules laid out from last time still stand. Moreover, I’m Level 10 at the time I write this and I intend to hit at least 11 or 12 in the time between now and then. Probably won’t be playing much tomorrow due to life concerns, but hey, we have a full three-day weekend ahead of us. And three-day weekends were made for catassing.

Bring it on, punks. We’re doing Warsong Gulch up Unbeliever style.