Another One Bites The Dust

Nothing can make you feel more utterly humbled than to think you’re doing well in a game and then to try out the highest difficulty level. I’ve been encouraged that going to the arcades again would be a waste of time and money, since it seems those machines are too badly damaged to be worth rating properly. But I figured the next best thing would be to download some more actual DDR tunes, and I got a few recommendations from friends. Out of delusions of grandeur I decided it might be an idea to try some of the 10-foots as well. And thus I tried PARANOiA survivor, which I had already heard was pretty scary. Watching the arrows fly past I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry… The speed was just insane. If I concentrated I could keep up with one of the arrows. With some practise I could maybe cover 2 of them. But all 4? Holy crap…

The attempts at other DDR songs were mixed. Some 6-foots I did well in, and I even passed a couple of 7s. Overall I wasn’t pleased though. One problem is that I don’t know the tunes very well, so I can’t follow the rhythm as easily. A much bigger issue though is speeds. I’ve wrapped myself in cotton wool to date, pretty much always playing songs around 120 bpm, maybe sometimes a little faster. I don’t mind if a song has some far faster sections within them as long as it goes with the tune well, but an entirely fast or slow song is usually just unplayable for me. So experiencing these very fast DDR songs was pretty bewildering, and I had a lot of trouble trying to keep up. The Afronova songs in particular just spanked my ass red-raw – I was utterly useless at them.

To try to master the highest songs must take a very long time. To learn these by playing on the arcade machines would simply make you very broke. Surely there are better things to spend money on? Like a nice big tub of ice cream? You wouldn’t work yourself into a stupid sweat from that now, would you? I mean, with the sort of money that must be spent on these machines maybe some of the extreme players could, I dunno, maybe save up enough to buy themselves a life? But as much as I deride DDR players I do admit most of them are fairly decent people, and it was nice to find out that some of them do have enough of a sense of humour to be able to pick fun of themselves, as evidenced by the Cornell DDR club videos for 2004 and 2005. There’s an old saying: “Blessed is he who can laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be amused.” It’s a pity that for a minority of people this is just too hard.

On the subject of things being too hard, I have noticed one interesting thing about playing Stepmania – it has definitely reduced my libido. It seems that regular exercise really does help keep the little pecker down. It hasn’t been this inactive since I was 12! Definitely an advantage when single…

Moving and grooving on (as I’m sure you’d like to), I gave up on those more difficult DDR songs I’d been attempting. Trying to learn to do better at very high speeds seemed fairly futile, especially with songs I didn’t know. I returned back to my old favourites, the songs I knew and loved. And I was in for a bit of a shock. I was still having trouble with some 6-foots, so hadn’t tried much in the way of 7-foot yet. That which I had tried usually turned out poorly. But an attempt at 7-foot Liberi Fatali (the Final Fantasy 8 intro theme) instantly got me a B. I was still having trouble getting Bs in some 6-foots, so this was a great pleasure to me.

So next I decided to return to the song that had first helped me get up the ladder in Stepmania: Billie Jean. The 4-foot I was already very comfortable with, and so now it was time to get heavy. 8-foot Billie Jean was my next target, and I quickly found it wasn’t a complete fantasy. Yes, it was fast, it was hard, and it was filled with half-steps – often with strings of 9 or more in a row, including half-steps in between jumps and freezes. But it was not impossible, oh no. Knowing the beat well helped me immensely, and on my second go I pulled off a C. For the second time in my four weeks of playing this game I grinned and shouted “yes!” Not coincidentally it was on the same song as the last time. But I wasn’t going to stop at a C, now was I? A few more attempts got me exhausted pretty quickly, but I was still only getting Cs. Finally after about my 5th go I managed to keep my life bar at full by the end of the song, and I got a rating I could be happy with – B.

I had a certain glow of satisfaction after this – hard to describe, but it felt good. I’d achieved something I didn’t think would be possible in the time I have. It was through hard work and determination, and in the end that struggle paid off. It left me very sweaty though – extremely damned sweaty. Heard the expression bathed in sweat before? Well, for once I know how it feels – it seemed perspiration was oozing from every inch of skin on my body. Except my feet, strangely… But getting a B in a 8-foot difficulty song was most definitely worth needing an extra shower and change of clothes. It’s a proud achievement for me, and a great way to end this 30 day project.

For end it must, and that end is most certainly nigh. My final tango with Stepmania is due tomorrow, and my ultimate judgement of the game must come then.

Positives: I still keep surprising myself with my ability to improve. Just when I think I’ve hit a solid barrier and I can’t progress any more I find some area I can improve in and my skill at the whole game advances even further.
Negatives: For once I don’t feel I have anything really negative to report here. Actually, one problem is that the mat is getting increasingly battered. If I wanted to keep playing then I’d have no choice but to buy a new pad to be able to dance more properly. Still, for a free program it’s only fair that you would have to buy a decent interface yourself, and the foam-filled pads aren’t all that expensive.
Overall so far: Playing the arcade machines has made me respect the ability to play at home more. Previously I thought it was pretty sad and pathetic to play on your own at home, and that the whole DDR genre was probably far better when played with friends. I do still think that now, but I at least see how there are a lot of major advantages to playing at home as opposed to the expense and troubles of using an arcade machine.

3 comments September 1st, 2006

Sonic Boom!

It’s been almost a week since I made a post about the actual game play and game experiences. I wish I could say something cool and epic was holding me back, like having to fight Satan himself for the souls of all humanity, and his chosen battlefield is the grid iron of Madden ‘07. I want to say that, yes, after the seemingly infinite jabs and pokes from all the demons in Hell itself, as well as The Fallen One using perfect control of the blocking feature to break a few long rushes, I emerged victorious in the most perfect game of football ever, score of 2-0 in overtime, 95% rushing plays on both sides.

But I’ve just been lazy. Still not in the habit of updating a site with words and stuff.

So, yeah, three games into my season on Madden ‘07. My Bills are 2-1, losing the first game that was close in the first half but pulled away from me in the second half. I won the next game against the Dolphins, who are arch-rivals with the Bills. This last game I wiped the floor against the Jets, beating them 40-17.

But it’s taken the whole week for me to play three games. I can, at most, play two quarters of football in one setting. And it’s not like I’m playing long periods either. It’s the five minutes per period that’s the standard for Madden games. I’m just finding this very, well, boring. It’s boring when I’m winning, it’s boring when I’m losing. Boring in the morning, boring in the evening, boring at dinner time. I’m going to try and bump the difficulty from rookie, the lowest, to pro, or what ever the next easiest is.

Maybe part of it is that I’m starting to get the controls. My rushing game has definitely improved, I understand having to wait for the blockers to do their jobs and for the lanes to open up. I am reading the defense well, and calling hot routes. Hot routes are sort of audible that change the route a receiver is running. When I call a pass play, and break the huddle and get to the line, if I see a defender somewhere, I can change the route to exploit the weakness. A week ago I would have been totally lost at what to do. Now, I am master of buttons in a game!

If I’m not bringing the funny, it’s well, despite my new found mad skillz, it’s the game is dull. I pass, I run. I throw a few completions, I throw an interception. Defense comes out on the field, and it’s just the opposite of offense. I pick plays at random, end up not controlling a player cause if I do, the other team will get my precious into Mordor. Or something…

…and I know if I had bought the PS2 version, I’d enjoy all this bantha poodoo somewhat more. The PC version lacks Madden Points. These are little bonuses you get for scoring a touchdown, making an interception, rushing for x yards, and other little in game milestones. Save up 100 Madden Points, spend it on a deck of cards that’s pretty much worthless. But I think this would solve a lot of my boredom issues with the game. It’s the same reason I enjoyed the Tony Hawk skate games. Sure you just skate around the same eight stages, but there’s different special jumps and grinds and things to do. You’re not playing to complete the game of skating, you’re playing to collect all the hidden actions in the meta game. The sad thing is, this might be the sort of crap that’s in Superstar Mode, and I may, if the increased difficulty of Franchise Mode doesn’t help, have to submit myself to that.

There is one bright spot, and it’s in a location I thought I wouldn’t like. The soundtrack. No, I don’t like a lot of the R&B-slash-hip hop-slash-rap music, but dear god, if these files are mp3s on my system somewhere, I’ll be putting them into my iPod. When iGetOne. When iHaveEnoughMoney. No, not the R&B songs, but Madden’s dealt with NFL Films to get a lot of the classic background music the NFL Films have produced. It’s odd, when one of these cue up, it’s like I’m watching a highlight reel or something, yet I’m playing the game myself. It goes back to that make it real/make it enjoyable ratio I’m sure I mentioned sometime before. I hear this music, and I think back to the best the game has to offer. The tape of the Bills “Greatest Comeback In NFL History” has songs from this soundtrack. The heroes I grew up watching, waiting in line for two hours to meet, cheered and jeered every Sunday, those memories flash through my head while I try to pretend I’m on the other side of that fan exchange. These classic tunes, if nothing else, make the price of the game money well spent.

Short, blunt, and to the point. I’m like Fox News, only smarter. And full of truthyness.

Positives: DUN dada DUN dada DUN dadatdada DUN dada DUN dada DUN dadatdada…NFL Films soundtrack.

Negative: In the rain or in the snow, pass the ball and run it for’d. All I ever want is for this to get interesting…

Opinion Change: Game itself much decreased. Though I’ll be poking through the files to see if I can grab me a few NFL Films mp3s, it’s not like I didn’t pay for them….

1 comment September 1st, 2006