Welcome To The Unbelievers

Hi, folks. Welcome to this here project called: “The Unbelievers”. In a nutshell, this site provides… well, at the risk of sounding like a New Games Journalist douchebag, what we do here isn’t strictly ‘review’ games. Our take on the whole thing is to ridicule and mock them mercilessly.

Wait, that still makes us sound like douchebags. Let me start over.

Anyone ever watch “Titanic”? You know, mid-90’s movie, intolerably long, kinda sappy, and with a noticeable lack of Bill Paxton being funny. Right, that Titanic. OK. Now imagine the kind of review of Titanic that someone who absolutely hates ‘disaster’ movies would write, after being forced to watch Titanic, all the way through, five times in a row. Think of that one scene from Billy Joel’s “Pressure” video, but more cruel. And with less Billy Joel (though whether or not that qualifies as “more cruel” is up to you). It’s kind of like that.

Seriously, the idea is that everyone is biased. Everyone. You know all those lunatics screaming about how the mainstream media is full of sycophantic cronies who hate freedom (regardless of what side of the political spectrum they’re actually on)? They’re right. Well, except for the part about hating freedom. Nobody today will give you a straight answer. Everyone will only tell you what they think you want to hear– or, more appropriately, what they want you to want to hear.

We’re different. At least, I like to think we are. The basic idea behind “The Unbelievers” is that we’re playing games we hate to see if they’re really as good– or as bad– as everyone says they are. We put our bias up front, right there for you to see. We hate the game already, before we even unwrap it from the plastic. It’s up to the game itself to prove us wrong… or to confirm our suspicions.

To do this, we have to make sure we’re not making just snap judgements. So we make sure we’re committed for the long haul. Thirty days for big projects, like World of Warcraft or Dance Dance Revolution; smaller tasks (yet to be determined) will have lesser durations. Through it all, we report on our biases, our impressions, and the silly stuff that we notice about the game.

Is it going to be informative? Possibly, but reading this for a serious opinion is kind of like eating three boxes of Fruity Pebbles for your dose of Vitamin C. Is it going to be our honest opinion? You betcha.

Will there be mocking of the fanboys? Oh, so very much yes there will.

So that’s that. Please have a look at our projects, and drop by the forums– we always welcome feedback.

And one last thing: Enjoy the site for what it is. An inquisition.

2 comments July 30th, 2006