Ready, down! Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut

Only 8 days between updates. I’m starting to get into the swing of things. I do promise longer reports coming soon, even if they’re less often.

I really want to say that my opinion has shifted for the better on at least one facet of this game. I want to come here and have a good quarter of this post say that “while x, y, z, alpha, and beta all still suck, I enjoy q somewhat more now.” I wish I could point out that subjecting myself to the string of code on this DVD has bettered me in some way, other than wishing I was playing the cooking chicken stage of Parappa the Rappa in place of this moderately warm heap of bovine anus void.

But I cannot.

I’ve been able to roll up a nice 6-1 record with my team, on the standard difficulty level. I figured it was time for me to up my level, that maybe I’m getting so bored with the game cause it’s not a challenge. (Even though I threw 4 interceptions against the in game against the Bears and STILL won the game, more on luck and Willis McGhee’s counter play running).

So I upped my difficulty level, and got stomped. Like, everything I thought I knew, I didn’t. Now, I’ll grant that a higher difficulty level should be hard, and God help me, I’m going to continue on playing at this to better myself, but it is a real, noticeable, ego-stripping, emasculating step to take.

The other issue I’ve had with this game lately is that most times I’m blindly mashing buttons. This was a major beef with the game I had, there seemed to be very little skill, just pressing the button at the right time. Let me say that a game, I was pissed at this game because I thought a skill ONLY REVOLVED AROUND PRESSING BUTTONS AT THE RIGHT TIME.

Think about that for a second. I just started playing Kingdom Hearts II, and a major skill of that video game is PRESSING THE ‘X’ BUTTON AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. So Madden 07, I forgive you for the hatred of making me master a video game skill you have to master for every video game; for making an issue when there was none really.

The Good: I don’t hate it as much because I discovered hypocrisy on my part.

The Bad: Given the choice, I’d rather play City of Heroes, Kingdom Hearts II, or Pong still.

Opinion Change: Still miss Techmo Bowl…..8 bit is still better than DVD and authentic playbooks

Judgement: World of Wafflecraft

Editor’s Note: I would love to say that this was delayed by my crippling addiction to the game. It wasn’t– actually I haven’t even logged in in the two weeks since I wrote this due to the permanent job hunt and some contract work I’m doing. I had intended to have a very scathing rebuttal to my final opinion, penned by none other than an employee of Blizzard itself. However, it was not to be. Something about him screaming “NO! NO! DON’T MAKE ME, THEY’LL LASH ME REPEATEDLY!” kinda soured me on the concept; though I did offer the Taskmasters of Blizzard five bucks to lash him anyway. The bleeding’s nearly stopped, he tells me. Anyway, I do apologize for this being as late as it is, and I also apologize for the lack of updates. The total non-surprise GTA project will start on the 25th. There may even be another project going on, too. We just don’t know what The Mysterious Future holds. So, without further adieu, the end of the World. Of Warcraft. Thingy. Yeah, that sounded cooler when I said it out loud.

I started this project in the hopes that even if all I got out of the whole thirty days in Azeroth experiment was my mock-on going, then that was all right. However, here after just over thirty days, I’ve found that quite frankly, I’ve grown accustomed to my race. I don’t readily play the game as often as I feel I should, but the time I’ve spent was actually… enjoyable. To a certain extent.

Let’s talk about the second Interrogation, before we get into any conclusions. I got in as Ceilai a few minutes early, and decided that the best way to go about giving the PvP a fair shot would be to try it again. This time, with a weaker character who, it should be noted, I hadn’t actually played in weeks. I gave myself every deliberate disadvantage, and even with that… I still did far better than I had as the Tauren Shaman. I actually killed other players. I had killing blows registered, and more than just two or three. I think on that first run I had eight or nine, and the second one I had five or six. A lot of it, of course, was due to my team– they were in fact the way we won the first match– but I was playing my support role the best way I knew how, and actually felt like I was contributing to the team. In some small way, I liked that. Granted, the fact that Warsong Gulch resets completely negated the feeling of having accomplished something good within the overall framewerk of the game, but meh. I’ll take my ego-boosts where I can get them. Aside from that, and a couple more quests/grind sessions, nothing terribly interesting to report. Still nothing in the way of communication.

Let’s go back to the beginning, then, and take a look at what I had to say about the game. My biggest problems with the game were the oversaturation of players (most of whom were jerks), the requirement of PvP play, and the fact that the game was totally inaccessible to casual players. One point at a time, then:

A large enough player base actually reduces the immersion an MMO player has in the world, as through login queues, zone oversaturation, and GM non-responsiveness, he or she is made to feel increasingly insignificant. To some extent, I didn’t have this exact problem during my playthrough. I ran into the login queue problem exactly twice throughout my entire run, and the zones never felt like they were far too crowded (though they certainly had their spots where a lot of people were gathered). As I never needed to call a GM, there wasn’t that problem either. However, the player base is too large. It takes away from the immersion when you’re handing over the one-of-its-kind vial of moonwell water to the druid, only to have to wait in line for the other nine people to do the same. Ditto for named-monster kills (Lady Sathrah, to be specific– I killed her, and then not an hour later she was still there). It’s also worth noting that the player base was completely hostile to new players. I had the exact same experience when I started up Ultima Online (didn’t even last a week there); nobody was willing to answer a question, or even tell me where to go to get the right information. I understand the argument of “you have a manual” but not everyone actually reads the manual. I read what I needed to know about combat, about the topics I’d heard about, and then I went in. The online help is pathetic at best and impossible to recall if you need it.

Forcing players into a PvP combat situation is akin to forcing players to be griefed; conversely, restricting players from PvP forces them into mindless grinding without any purpose. World of Warcraft does not provide enough PvE variety or non-combat PvP competition. Boy, was I wrong about this. There is literally a metric assload of stuff to do in the game. Granted, a lot of it revolves around going out and killing things, but it is possible to derive satisfaction out of the game in a non-combat situation. While some players go out and hunt things, others buy and sell services as enchanters and crafters. A good deal of money can be made just through harvesting items like herbs or minerals. While I can’t say anything for roleplaying– as I didn’t actually join an RP server– I’m sure a lot of that happens and it can’t be all bad. I was dead wrong about a lack of PvE variety. However, PvP is always combat. And, fortunately, completely optional. So, I likely won’t ever set foot in any PvP setting ever again. EVAR.

The “rest” system does nothing to contribute to casual players and in fact serves as an artificial hindrance to the “hardcore” crowd, who will overcome this through tedious grinding. This is dead-on, but for a different reason. I played very infrequently. I imagine that if I played more often, I’d have noticed a difference. However, as it stands, I didn’t see anything that made the rest system any different than normal play. Because I was always in rested mode. After the initial period, I let my characters sit for days on end and accumulated so much rest that I never saw the end of the rest bar on Sunday evening. And this was after gaining a full two levels. TWO LEVELS and I still had enough rest to take me into a third. The rest system is completely ineffectual. It’s nice if you have a lot of alternate characters and rotate between them– and the randomness of the servers being up or available pretty much necessitates that– but ultimately it confers no end-user difference.

As for observations that I picked up along the way. I’d like to address this to all but maybe three people in the Anvilmar “community”: YOU ALL SUCK. The multiplayer experience I had on the server– a “normal” server– did absolutely nothing to convince me that the game was worth paying $15 a month for, let alone playing at all. Being hostile to new players, challenging them to duels they can’t hope to win (and calling them chicken when they decline, in broadcast, and saying you’ll make a GM call if they continue to decline), and not even correcting them when they ask stupid questions will not endear me to you folks. So to all of you who were hoping I’d have something good to say about you players, I don’t. My initial assumption that you are all diseased asshats still stands with only a handful of exceptions.

All that said, I’m still going to play.

That’s right, I have decided to stay on in Azeroth. This trip wasn’t just an experiment, it was a learning experience. I figured out what to do and what not to do. And armed with this knowledge, I’m going to go back and try again. The reason behind it is very simple: because sometimes it takes a little work before you get to a great amount of fun.

When I first started City of Heroes, it was at the urging of my good friend (and fellow Unbeliever) PsychoPez. I played for two months before I let the subscription lapse; mostly because I didn’t play it terribly often, but primarily because I just wasn’t having much fun. I had picked two really bad archetypes for beginners to play, Blaster and Controller; Blasters had no defense back then and Controllers had no offense– plus, there was debt below Level 10 as well, so both got into a permadebt situation PDQ. It would be over a year before I reinstalled and started up again during a period of unemployment, because it was cheaper than buying a new game at that point; also, Mike had mentioned that some of the recent changes had made the game much more forgiving. He helped me out with a new character, and I slowly made connections within the game and within the community. It was tough at first, and occasionally I had periods where I said, “Forget this, I’m not progressing”. But the best solution actually was to play a different character. To take on the same content, from a while back, from a different angle. And occasionally with help that I didn’t have before.

WoW is, I think, the same way. I have made a lot of mistakes, and I’ve not exactly made things easier on myself through some of my choices. However, when I’m actually playing the game– even just grinding– it’s fun. Is it fun for everyone who plays it? Of course not. I know of at least one person who will call me retarded for continuing to play. Making connections will help out the experience immensely, I think. And I already have a standing invitation to a guild composed of the former members of the DDR Erie crew. I think I’ll just go right ahead and make up that character tonight, in fact. A Night Elf Hunter, of course.

The Good: The game itself is fun, for folks with a certain predisposition to the genre (I’m not an “MMO Hater” as some folks may have described me– which actually means I have to go and find someone who truly is one and give them this Auto Assault trial disk I’ve been hanging on to since May). The world is very well developed, and the story is interesting (where it’s not ripped straight from Tolkien/Warhammer). Technically speaking, it’s damn pretty and damn economical on the resources.
The Bad: The playerbase on the normal servers are all asses. Online help is just plain useless. The user interface, by default, has a LOT of flaws. The minimap is also useless and a lack of navigational aids really makes moving between areas you know too difficult– Blizzard could learn a LOT from Guild Wars. Bits of the story have been lifted from other sources, but if you’re not a fanboy you likely won’t care (and despite Pez’s attempts, I still know very little about the Warhammer universe, so what’s been lifted here doesn’t affect me).
Final Opinion: Slightly good. But ever-so-slightly. If you’ve never been fond of the MMO model then World of Warcraft won’t win you over– it may even drive you away completely. But if you’re willing to do a little bit of work for a potential lot of reward– all of it virtual, except for the social interaction– it could be a great game. Assuming, of course, you know people who already play. Let’s call this one “cautious optimism.”

BOOM!er Esiason once played in the NFL

Wow, eight days without a report. Want to know why? Nothing much new going on with Madden. When I’m playing it that is.

One of my fears has come true. Now that the regular season of the NFL has started, playing the game has lost some of the little appeal it once had. I’m involved in two fantasy leagues, and my Sundays are now handed over to the almighty god of football; the pigskin my new religious icon. It’s true that before the season started, there was sort of a “Well, it’s the only game in town, so I might as well” feeling toward the game.

I still can only play at most one half of a game at a time, but the reasons for stopping are starting to increase. I got mad while playing the Chicago Bears that I had to quit. They intercepted the only two passes I’ve thrown. Part of me wants to just reset the game; on the plus side, I understand that urge to do so now.

Having the Bears play so well on defense actually mirrors last year’s real life Bear’s team. It’s kinda eerie seeing things like this. The stats in game really match up well to their real world counterpart. Defensive teams are good on defense. Fast wide outs are really faster than the slower ones. On this point, it does suck you into the simulation, and does it well.

The Good: I guess having as accurate a simulation as possible where you don’t have to actually stand up and put on pads is a good thing…

The Bad: I still see very little reason why a gamer would want to play this. This is not like other video games, it is very much a you like it or hate it game…

Opinion Change: …and I still hate it.

Comes The Inquisitor

There’s a bit of a snag with the final post for the World of Warcraft project, so I just thought I’d keep you all updated on that. We’re working as quickly as we can to get it all sorted out, so in the meantime, I, uh….

….yeah, for now, I got nothin’. This is a learning experience for all of us, and since we’re just starting out, we’re having one of those hiccups where two of us are between projects and our only current project is going so very slowly. I can assure you, however, we’re not finished yet, as I’ve already set in motion what’s going to be our next project. Here’s a hint: This will make Jack Thompson a very very happy man for about fifteen seconds. Then he’ll actually read it and become enraged– whoops, I forgot, he won’t read it because he thinks I can’t read*. He’ll probably just be enraged, now that I think about it. So actually this wasn’t much of a hint.

So I can promise you folks that I’ll be starting my new project “soon”– let’s say a week from Monday. It’s gonna be a glorious new start, because, my brothers and sisters, we’re heading back to the old ‘hood.

See you when we see you.

* — If this was South Park there would be a big flashing subtitle there that read “YES, HE REALLY THINKS THAT”.

BOO!m (And yes, that’s spelled correct)

It’s pretty sad when a game you’ve hated for a week, a game you’ve tried your best to like even though every rational neuron in your brain is telling you to walk away, doesn’t let you play it.

I figured I was being overly harsh on Superstar Mode; that I needed to jump a year or two ahead for my player to take their rightful place in the team. So I made a new superstar, a running back, and I simulated an entire year. The New England Patriots drafted me, and my entire first year, I didn’t get to play on the field at all. No problem, Corey Dillon’s starting to age, in a year or so I should be able to replace him.

So the second season starts, and I start up a training camp day. In this mode, training camp and practice sessions are more important than the actual game. It is where you get to fight for position, to prove yourself to the coach. So I hit the start event button, and the preseason mode loads. And loads. And loads. And Control-Alt-Delete tells me five minutes later the program’s not responding.

No big deal, random crash. Kill the process, start it up again. Same thing. And those three moments of zen like Madden bliss have been enriched into raw, energy filled hatred worse than any Iranian uranium will ever be. I start up a new random superstar, and I can go into the first year training camp no problem, but any second or beyond year training camp, and the game just crashes.

Which is just great, as I was liking (GASP!!! I KNOW, SHOCKING!!) superstar mode. I could idly play it when I didn’t have the time, simulate a week or a season and move on, and had all sorts of little mini-things aside from the game that I thought I would hate, but proved to be nice distractions. I think my initial impressions with Superstar mode were so poor because I was on the defensive side of the ball. On offense, at a skill position (QB, RB, WR), Superstar mode, while it isn’t good, we’ll just say it sucks much much less.

One more comment about Superstar mode that leads into the other half of this tough acting rant. I had a QB superstar (First year, of course, fscking bug…) that is not calling any snaps, but does get on the field to hold the ball for the place kicker on extra points and field goals. Except it appears that there is something I am supposed to do to place the ball on the ground. Everytime I’ve done this, the kicker misses his kick, and horribly as well. If there was a practice mode to tell me how I am supposed to plant the ball, or an in game menu to explain how this is done, all would be good. But Madden, while driving around in his fricking bus, seems to have forgotten how to tell the players of his bug riddled game HOW TO ACTUALLY PLAY THE STUPID THING.

Yes, I’m getting used to how to control all the various permutations of actions in the game. The practice mini games do really help in this. But the in game help for controls is poor. There is a drop down menu that covers the basics for rushing, passing, and blocking, but there have been multiple times where I needed a specific command, and I just could not find it. Sure, the drop down lists of doom in games like Unreal Tournement or City of Heroes was hard to sort through, but I know the command I so desired to use was somewhere within, and all I had to do was spend at most five minutes looking through. In Madden, even though they tried to ‘help’ the user out by classifying controls, things got cut, and when your only two actions in a game are holding a ball for your kicker and you fail at that cause you have no idea how to order it, in pre-season games where the entire intent of your play time IS TO PROVE TO YOUR MAKE BELIEVE COACHES THAT YOU’RE A GOOD ENOUGH PLAYER TO PLAY, which making your kicker mis kicks is what you DON’T want to do, things get annoying.

Man, that was a run on sentance. Sorry, Madden are do be causing the baddest grammers.

The Good: I want to play Superstar mode….

The Bad: …but a bug THAT CRASHES THE GAME prevents me from it. In game help (IE. help while actually playing the game) is almost as bad.

Opinion: How much longer do I have to put up with this steaming pile of computer compiler dung? Three more weeks or I find those mp3s I talked about. I’d rather have every hamster dance clone installed on my computer rather than this stupid, stupid program. I’m not sure I can even call it a game at this point. Hell, calling it a program assumes some level of logic was intended with its creation. It seems the programers just threw random 0s and 1s into a heap and called it a day. I had thought about trying to review its on-line play, which is an option in this waste of hard drive space, but I’m afraid my firewall would correctly not only catagorize this game as a virus, but would force my machine to become sentient, electro-telekineticly animate my mouse, wrap itself around my neck and strangle the precious life giving oxygen out of my body to make up for being exposed to the files that compose Madden ‘07. Honestly, at this point, I’m almost of the opinion that Madden ‘07 is a terrorist plot to poison the youth of America. And now that I’ve said terrorist and uranium in the same blog whose URL is The-Unbelievers.com, everyone welcome the NSA, CIA, and FBI to our video game experiment!